I accept my that some days my grief overwhelms me and it is hard to do anything but breathe and cry. I accept that some days are better than that and am grateful for those days.
My baby is healthy and I can clothe, feed and provide shelter for her...that is all that matters but it is tough to remember that some days when the waves of sadness wash over me and threaten to drown me in grief. Then something reminds me, someone reminds me that it is ok and it will all work out. I am lucky in so very many ways.
I am striving to learn that I can do what I want to. I get to make the choices in my life of who, what, when and where things happen....to some degree anyway. It is good. God is good and I am grateful that I can stop and remember that. I am making some tough choices right now but know that the right ones will find me because God will show me where to go and how to get there but I have to seek those answers and I am.
I asked someone dear to me to start attending church with me. This could be a very big step in mending some very broken bonds...I pray for the courage to know it will all work out how it should even if it isn't how I want.
Thank you God for hope.