Saturday, July 5, 2014

She let go.

I found this today on Elephant Journal and fell in love...

I did not write this and give complete credit to the source above and the author noted at the end.  I just felt moved to share this.
She let go.

She let go. Without a thought or a word, she let go.

She let go of the fear.

She let go of the judgments.

She let go of the confluence of opinions swarming around her head.

She let go of the committee of indecision within her.

She let go of all the ‘right’ reasons.

Wholly and completely, without hesitation or worry, she just let go.

She didn’t ask anyone for advice.

She didn’t read a book on how to let go.

She didn’t search the scriptures.

She just let go.

She let go of all of the memories that held her back.

She let go of all of the anxiety that kept her from moving forward.

She let go of the planning and all of the calculations about how to do it just right.

She didn’t promise to let go.

She didn’t journal about it.

She didn’t write the projected date in her Day-Timer.

She made no public announcement and put no ad in the paper.

She didn’t check the weather report or read her daily horoscope.

She just let go.

She didn’t analyze whether she should let go.

She didn’t call her friends to discuss the matter.

She didn’t do a five-step Spiritual Mind Treatment.

She didn’t call the prayer line.

She didn’t utter one word.

She just let go.

No one was around when it happened.

There was no applause or congratulations.

No one thanked her or praised her.

No one noticed a thing.

Like a leaf falling from a tree, she just let go.

There was no effort.

There was no struggle.

It wasn’t good and it wasn’t bad.

It was what it was, and it is just that.

In the space of letting go, she let it all be.

A small smile came over her face.

A light breeze blew through her. And the sun and the moon shone forevermore…


Friday, July 4, 2014

What to do?  I feel off this week...up and down and all around and do not like this feeling.  It's ok because I don't have to like it.

I am trying to make a big choice about a job change.  Why?  Many reasons; my current company has a lot of issues and while I am in a really good place the company overall is not.  The company has a bad image in the community and not really sure it is getting any better.  There needs to be a great deal of change and I am trying to assist with this change but feel perhaps I have reached the end of what I can do or am willing to do.

There is a job open at a company I used to work for.  The job is not really what I love doing but it is certainly familiar to me.  It would allow me to be at the same school as my daughter and take her to school everyday and most likely picking her up in the afternoons.  This is a better company overall with opportunities to move and maybe move up if I wanted to.  I might not want to move up anymore.  Been there and done that and I think the non up jobs are simpler and would allow me more me time and more family time and that is the important thing.  The move if I were offered it and took it feels like a move backwards but does that matter?  Does is matter I won't have as voice in the company or does it matter that I can settle in, do my job and then live my life?  I don't want to be here forever and this company will allow for transfers in the future.  My current company will not- at least not places I would go. 

Leaving feels like a betrayal.   Current company has been good to me but in all fairness I have given back a lot to them as well and again it just sorta feels done, over, as if I have reached my limit on what I can do.  Is this because it is so hard for me to settle and stay in one place?  Current company has been my base company for about 14 years though I have had many, many other jobs during and around that.  However in those years I have changed jobs many times and constantly look to change more.  Why?  Why can I not just be- just settle- just stop the change cycle.  Acceptance, acceptance, acceptance.

Surrender and acceptance- focus on this and all will be ok.

Love and live and be free