Saturday, December 28, 2013

Accept what happens and create me out of it

Acceptance 2014

This is my goal for 2014...acceptance.  Accept what happens and create me out of it.  The last 2 years have been a total disaster.  There have been so many big and small things that have happened that I have almost become numb.  Almost, the rest of the time I am anxious and afraid and question everything I do.  I am starting fresh with a new year and though I don't expect miracles I do expect goodness.

This will be my year for stepping out of my comfort zone.  A recovering alcoholic who will finally work AA, find a sponsor and work the steps.  Taking an online art journal course (I am not an artist or really even that creative).   Make choices for me that line up with my beliefs and my values regardless of what others may think.  Ready for the big one?  Stop enabling other adults by being bossy, overbearing and a very classic case of co dependence.   Why would I know what is best for others, I barely know what is good for me.  I have spent my entire adulthood trying to "fix" other people, it doesn't work.  What works is working on me and that is what I am going to do.

For years my New Year's Resolutions were to quit drinking and quit smoking and by the Grace of God I have been clean for over 3 years.  Clean, dry, not really living wholeheartedly and authentically and this is what I strive for.  Wholeheartedness and authenticity- tough to accomplish when you don't know who you are or what you really want. 

I will journal or blog here daily, I will create with art and photographs to capture more moments, I will say yes to what I want to do and no to that which I do not.  I will make decisions for myself and my child and trust that I will know what the best ones are.  I will exercise and eat healthy, I will connect with others, I will encourage others and I will allow others to encourage me.  I will ask for and accept help when I need it.  I will need it.

December 28, 2013 I make this commitment to myself.  I will keep it.  This will be my year of acceptance, Grace and love. 

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