What to do? I feel off this week...up and down and all around and do not like this feeling. It's ok because I don't have to like it.
I am trying to make a big choice about a job change. Why? Many reasons; my current company has a lot of issues and while I am in a really good place the company overall is not. The company has a bad image in the community and not really sure it is getting any better. There needs to be a great deal of change and I am trying to assist with this change but feel perhaps I have reached the end of what I can do or am willing to do.
There is a job open at a company I used to work for. The job is not really what I love doing but it is certainly familiar to me. It would allow me to be at the same school as my daughter and take her to school everyday and most likely picking her up in the afternoons. This is a better company overall with opportunities to move and maybe move up if I wanted to. I might not want to move up anymore. Been there and done that and I think the non up jobs are simpler and would allow me more me time and more family time and that is the important thing. The move if I were offered it and took it feels like a move backwards but does that matter? Does is matter I won't have as voice in the company or does it matter that I can settle in, do my job and then live my life? I don't want to be here forever and this company will allow for transfers in the future. My current company will not- at least not places I would go.
Leaving feels like a betrayal. Current company has been good to me but in all fairness I have given back a lot to them as well and again it just sorta feels done, over, as if I have reached my limit on what I can do. Is this because it is so hard for me to settle and stay in one place? Current company has been my base company for about 14 years though I have had many, many other jobs during and around that. However in those years I have changed jobs many times and constantly look to change more. Why? Why can I not just be- just settle- just stop the change cycle. Acceptance, acceptance, acceptance.
Surrender and acceptance- focus on this and all will be ok.
Love and live and be free